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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495262">“Nobody hears me, no matter how loud I scream, they don’t hear me and it hurts… “</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Love_unicorn_2003/pseuds/I_Love_unicorn_2003'>I_Love_unicorn_2003</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author has a disability, Autistic Huey Duck, Bad Parenting, Broken Family, Character Study?, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Emotional neglect, Homelife is absolutely shit, I can’t take anymore, I don’t have autism but I am making him autistic in this story, I need help, I’m sorry, Mental Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, The Author Regrets Nothing, This story is based on my life, Trigger Warnings, a lot of tags, don’t read this if you don’t care, false truths, overtag, teachers are assholses, this hurt to write, venting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:00:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,074</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Love_unicorn_2003/pseuds/I_Love_unicorn_2003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the eldest sucked. Why? For multiple reasons actually.<br/>Firstly: you always had to be there for your younger siblings, always show them how to do things properly, Love them when nobody else would. It's hard, especially when you scream so loud that all you can hear is the sound of your ears ringing and nobody understanding you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Della Duck/Huey Duck, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera &amp; Huey Duck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>“Nobody hears me, no matter how loud I scream, they don’t hear me and it hurts… “</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please listen to this while you read (if possible loop or like find a hour version or something<br/>https://youtu.be/O3bfRBassAQ</p><p>I know I overtaged this, but I didn’t know what else to do.</p><p>I am hurting right now and I’m not in a good place (I am but I’m not) I’m hurting and I just I can’t express myself in the right way so I needed to write this before I exploded… And if anyone sees this that doesn’t have AO3 I’m sorry… I really really am sorry… This is the longest story I’ve ever written (so far on here) and to be honest I am a little scared to publish this because I don’t want it to seem like I’m seeking attention, because I’m not all I’m asking is that Whoever reads this please respect me and please don’t judge at all.</p><p>This story is based on my life, hence the child neglect tag. I was neglected as a child for many many years, it wasn’t intentional because my siblings had more serious problems than me… only recently am I recovering from my childhood neglect (and sometimes it kind of relapses because of unknown reasons) I’m just tired of the world right now and nobody cares enough to see that I’m okay, I’m sorry I lash out..<br/>I’m sorry that I bottle up my feelings… And I’m sorry that I make every situation worse (most of the time)<br/>Please enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being the eldest sucked. Why? For multiple reasons actually.<br/>
Firstly: you always had to be there for your younger siblings, always show them how to do things properly, Love them when nobody else would. It's hard, especially when you scream so loud that all you can hear is the sound of your ears ringing and nobody understanding you.</p><p>Secondly: you always had to take care of your siblings no matter where you went, you couldn't have a moments piece without one of them yelling or screaming at each other... Yet when you scream, you get punished, you get told off for acting like a child, you get told off because you're supposed to be the responsible one that doesn't act like an idiot in front of anyone. And that hurts, that really really hurts...</p><p>Lastly: nobody ever noticed you... No matter how many fits you threw, how many words you swear at them, they never notice you... And they always changed it to make it seem like you never noticed them, when in actual fact you did notice, you understand you care about them so much that you would freak out if anything happened to them. But you don't say anything, why? Because you'd rather not get accused of lying when you're actually telling the truth, so that's why it's best to keep your mouth shut in any situation. Only let it out if you know the person you let it out to won't tell anyone.</p><p>This, this is what it was like for the eldest triplet Huey.<br/>
He was trapped, couldn't physically do anything because if he said anything at all he would get in huge trouble and get accused of lying when he knew fine well the truth. He knew everything, and he didn't dare tell anyone, because they would just brush it off like it was some sick joke, like it didn't even matter! This is what he was to the world? A sick joke? A joke? Of all the things Huey had been called over the years, and there were many names, some a lot harsher than nicer, but he's been called a lot of names. And that's all people see in him? A joke? Seriously? That's all he was known for?</p><p>My God did that hurt! It hurt him more than he lets on, he faked his way through everything... He was tired, nobody cared, understood, listened, they stopped every time he lashed out. Something was wrong with him, and he didn't know what, he was in so much pain. He wanted Scream so loudly at the world, he wanted to destroy everything that made his life absolutely worthless... He wanted to destroy everything he knew, because nobody listened... They said they did, but nobody did, they were liars, they didn't care about him... they never did! They would be lying if they said they did, because the only person he remembers caring about him was Fenton,</p><p>Fenton was his only escape, Fenton would let the young duckling cry on his shoulder for however many hours he needed to, he would let him stay the night when he needed a break from the drama the neglect and pain... He would tell him everything that went on the school day, and Fenton would listen and understand him, give him the life advice, Love him like his younger brother, Fenton was Huey's Older brother, not biologically, but you could say they have a relationship like one. When he would scream Fenton would be there to catch his tears, hold him and tell him that it was alright, That he believed him when he said his family was fighting almost every night, and his sitting room was too toxic to be in. He loved him more than anyone, more than anyone could ever love him... And that hurt, that feeling when you hold someone to take that if you hold them any tighter they will suffocate right in your arms, and that's what he feared...</p><p>Huey feared that Fenton was going to leave him... Leave him for somebody better, but every time he would have these thoughts, Fenton would come back to him, tell him that he was never going to leave him... He promised.</p><p> </p><p>Huey broke down, crying and screaming, just begging the world to go away and leave him alone. "It's alright Huey... I know you're frustrated, I know... I'm here..." Fenton says, holding the duckling in his arms.<br/>
"I c-c-c-c-can't do this anymore...."<br/>
"Hue, you can do this... I believe in you, I know it's hard when your family doesn't listen to you... But you have to keep going, you have to... No Matter how hard it is... I know it's hard, you just wanna feel validated... Like you belong, I get that... i've been there... And I still really kind of am, I know how feeling worthless feels... You feel so broken, so dead like nothing can revive you... But you can get back up, you can... And you deserve to be happy no kid should be treated like you, no one at all... I love you so much, and I will always always love you... Please, remember that. "Fenton spoke, on the verge of almost crying.</p><p> </p><p>Huey held him closely, wrapping his tiny little arms around him, Nessling his self into him.<br/>
"Nobody hears me, no matter how loud I scream, they don't hear me and it hurts... " Huey replies, crying holding into his only friend as tight as his tiny little arms could grip. "I know... shh I know...." he said, kissing him on the forehead. He looked at the boy almost on the verge of tears again, Fenton hated seeing Huey like this... It was heartbreaking to watch him cry for hours on end venting about how much he wanted to be listened, validated, loved. That hurt, oh God did it goddamn hurt... Fenton held him protectively rocking him backwards and forwards kissing his forehead as he broke down crying in his arms.</p><p>Hours passed by, and finally, finally, the tears stopped. He had been crying for three hours, three hours! I think that was the new record. Huey looked up at Fenton apologetically, the older one smiled at him hugging him gently. "You don't need to apologise... You're in pain, you're hurting... It's okay to break down, I promise you I'm not going to judge you..."<br/>
Huey smiled lovingly at him, Fenton smiled back at him, The same loving the expression on his face.</p><p>Huey Felt better, he would never feel completely better. But he felt better, he wasn't hurting as much anymore... He still felt numb as ever, still felt like he didn't belong anywhere, but he felt better. He hadn't felt this way in a long time, not since the day his mother came home. But ever since then, he wished she was nowhere near them. He wished he had life back before then, without his mother. Della didn't understand, she never did.<br/>
She apologised over and over, but no apology was ever enough to forgive her. Huey was angry, and rightly so. Not showing up to watch your ducklings hatch, not being there for 10 years, being absent for their whole life, that was no easy thing to forgive. And then she thinks that it's okay to just waltz back in to their lives like nothing ever happened? No! You've neglected your sons for too many years to be forgiven that easily, but the younger two forgive her way too easily. Louie needed a little convincing, but still, you can't just forgive a woman that easily for flying off into space when she knew her triplet babies were being born. But no, nobody thinks that was a good idea. Everyone just blames Huey because he doesn't fully understand, apparently, what his mother went through. Of course he does! Scrooge didn't spend 10 minutes telling them the full story for him to not understand! He felt sorry for her, he was ready to love her, love her just like Fenton... But then she comes in way too over the top, which is understandable, considering you haven't seen your kids their entire lives of course you wanted to be over the top and crazy about it. Only weeks later did his mother find out about what he had done, and now she views him differently, they're not close, they never will be, no matter how many times the teachers beg and plead for his mother to allow him to get closer.</p><p>But he won't.</p><p>Will he ever? He didn't know. But as of now, right now, no way! Della needed to stop misjudging him, understand him first before she could go anywhere near him. But, of course. Della didn't, she didn't wait, she expected all three of her boys to come running into her arms, they did, but Huey, not anymore.<br/>
He was angry. Della didn't see that! She didn't care! She expected everybody to be happy with her home, they were-ish. Huey was very much angry, even though it was the middle child who started this whole search thing, he was upset.<br/>
You can't just do that! You can't just come back randomly in someone else's life and expect them to be okay with it! You can't! And no matter how many times you apologise, you won't be forgiven that easily. Della didn't understand, she was too focused on trying to overdo herself to realise, Huey was angry.</p><p>But yet, yet she still yells at him when he swears, she yells at him for lying, she yelled at him for accusing them of fighting with each other when, according to her, they weren't. She said that Huey was lying all the time to his teachers, the teachers obviously believed her, because she was the older one. So of course they were going to believe her.</p><p>Della was no mother, she was nowhere near mothering material, just saying I love you isn't enough! Just saying I'm sorry isn't enough! You need to show it! Not yell at them for getting angry or upset or having a meltdown! You need to be patient with them, you need to listen, you need to understand them! </p><p>Della didn't.</p><p>Della had no right.</p><p>Della had no right to make it seem like it was his fault!</p><p>But did she care? No! Of course she didn't.</p><p>Huey was just, losing it.</p><p>Why was it his fault? Why? What did he do? Seriously, what did he do?</p><p>Nothing! Exactly! Nothing! All he was trying to do was state an obvious fact that his family does fight almost every night, that he does feel neglected, that he doesn't go into the sitting room because it hurts so goddamn much, that he only goes to Fenton for comfort because he knows, he is the only person on this entire earth that can love him like anyone could ever love him.</p><p>So what if the teachers pissed him off, so what if they thought he was being overdramatic?<br/>
He didn't need them, nor did he want them. They made his life miserable, they 'tried to help.' But they didn't do anything! All they did, was make him feel guilty about upsetting his mother. They're so goddamn manipulative.<br/>
Agh! AHH!! That really hurt, the teachers weren't helping him at all! He only said they were because he felt bad, he felt pressured! He was overwhelmed and blurted out a response quickly so they could feel satisfied!</p><p> </p><p>But just like everybody else, they didn't care. They only pretended to because that was their job, not saying all of the teachers were bad, Huey had his favourites, least favourite, in betweennies.<br/>
But some teachers, just didn't understand. They rambled on for minutes on end that turned into 30 minute conversations about how they were trying to help him and how they wanted to help him have a brighter future, and all that shit. But they just said that because they had no idea what else to say. They had no idea! Huey was a difficult kid, he had a minimal of one friend, that was it. He wouldn't consider Violet a friend at all because all she does is the exact same thing, she doesn't understand and she never will.</p><p>Huey had enough of everything, he wanted to die. He had no purpose, anywhere..</p><p>And that's how it would most likely stay.</p><p>Until he died.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well I hope you enjoyed, I really hope you did… And I’m sorry I had to put you through that. Hopefully I will feel better, I am just really really really upset right now and I needed to release some emotions...<br/>Thank you deeply.</p><p>I love you all ❤️</p></blockquote></div></div>
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